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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

From the Archives: "Oscar the Grouch?" and "Good Thing"

David'Z Current CommentZ: Today you get two from the old Diaryland archives, you lucky ducks!

I didn't watch the Oscar telecast the other night, primarily because I haven't been to the cinema in a while. In fact, the newest films I've seen lately have been (in no particular order) "Fantastic Four" (the first one), "The Black Dahlia," and "Batman Begins"... and those were all on television.

And the last time I actually went "to the movies" was to see "Sin City," released in 2005! Wow, it's been that long?

Anyway, for that matter, I didn't see 2004's Oscar ceremonies either, but that didn't stop me from posting the following on March 1, 2004!

And here it is, because I felt you had a right to see it! Well... that, and the fact that I've been busy, and wanted to post some damned thing.

So... *ahem*... see you at the bottom.

Oscar the Grouch?

As I begin this, the Oscars for Best Whatevers have all been given out, and the consensus already seems to be that the awards telecast was disappointing because there were no real surprises. At least, that's what I've gathered by hopping about online; I didn't actually watch the blasted thing. I didn't have what they call a "vested interest" in the proceedings, since I've only been to the movies three, maybe four, times in the past year. I did see "A Mighty Wind," from which the Best Song nominee "Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" hailed, but that was a fluke, no real reason to tune in to the entire broadcast.

Anyone know if "Bad Santa" came in for any nominations? I saw that...

I read somewhere that Charlize Theron said she was "not going to become Halle Berry," or words to that effect. (I know that an extra few minutes' research on the 'net would deliver unto me the exact quote, but I'm just too tired tonight. Sue me.) Evidently, Ms. Theron was referring to the fact that Ms. Berry followed up an Oscar-winning performance in "Monster's Ball" with a role in the James Bond film, "Die Another Day." To that I reply, "So-freakin'-what?" The implied question is, why would someone whose career finally brought her to the level of Accepted Serious Actress do something like that?

Hmm. I wonder.

Maybe she did it because it was fun? Halle Berry has also appeared in the "X-Men" movies. Maybe she simply enjoys the different opportunities provided by what she does for a living! Who'da thunk it? Hell, maybe -- and I'm just guessing, here -- that's why she became an actress in the first place, so she could "be" radically different people? I mean, am I really going out on a limb, here? And if I can understand this, why can't Charlize Theron?

A lot of stars known for a "serious" body of work have later (and I stress "later" as opposed to early in their careers, when they were starving and would take anything) opted to do comedic roles, or other things that are somewhat less prestigious. I could name several of these stars, stars who are Accepted Serious Actors, Oscar winners, even. I'll name three.

1) Robert De Niro is one of the most respected actors alive, but not necessarily for his role as Fearless Leader in "The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle." However, I doubt he took that role because his rent was overdue. And although it seems that comedy is often looked down upon by many of the academy's voting members, De Niro has played several comedic roles in the last few years.

2) Geoffrey Rush is another actor with a relatively small but prestigious list of acting credits. These credits include Casanova Frankenstein in "Mystery Men." *Ahem.*

3) Jack Nicholson won his first Oscar almost thirty years ago, for "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," but it hasn't kept him from playing roles like Jack Torrance in "The Shining" (horror being another oft-neglected genre when awards time rolls around), and appearances in "The Witches of Eastwick," "Batman," and "Mars Attacks!"

Sometimes, actors simply enjoy the opportunity to "chew the scenery," as the old expression goes.

Anyway... A few tenuously-related asides, here:

A) I did manage to see Halle Berry's Oscar-winning performance in "Monster's Ball." I found most of the actors and actresses in that film to be noteworthy, but it didn't make me feel any better about the characters themselves. The movie was populated by a bunch of unsympathetic, self-centered, unsettling types, and I watched all the way to the end, never feeling that any of them truly deserved the happiness they longed for, or anything that could be considered "a better life."

B) It's getting to be that the reason I check out any Billy Bob Thornton film is the same reason I gravitate toward Samuel L. Jackson's films: I just want to see what kind of hair he's wearing.

C) While I make no bones about leaping to Halle Berry's defense in regards to her choice of any role not "suited" to an Accepted Serious Actress, I really wonder about her choices where the bomb "Swordfish" was concerned. After allegedly accepting a $500,000 bonus to appear topless in the ill-fated flick (This was before her out-there nudity in "Monster's Ball."), she appeared on 2001's MTV Movie Awards along with "Swordfish" co-stars Hugh Jackman and John Travolta, all but admitting that the only thing remotely worthwhile about the film was its brief glimpse of her exposed breasts. Pointing directly at them, Halle stated something to the effect of "if you wanna see these, go see 'Swordfish.'" Yeah, that'll work.

C½?!?) Speaking of nudity, it used to be that an actress would only do nude scenes early in her career, but never (or rarely) again, once she'd become an Accepted Serious Actress. Now it doesn't seem to matter. Halle Berry won the Oscar for "Monster's Ball." irregardless of her nude love scene. "Irregardless of," I stress, and not "in spite of," and certainly not "because of." In fact, a nude scene seems to imply a more serious direction for some actresses. Anyone remember all the hoopla last year about Meg Ryan's performance in "In the Cut?" Remember the headlines (from more than one source)? "Meg Ryan Bares All!" (Yeah, so? That and ten cents will get you a photocopy of a cup of coffee!) There were more articles about her nude scenes than there were about the plot of the movie! What was the big deal? She'd appeared nude twelve years earlier, in "The Doors," too. Maybe that doesn't count, 'though, because that was before films like "Sleepless in Seattle" and "You've Got Mail" unofficially made her "America's Sweetheart." Oh, well, if I may be allowed a sexist observation, Meg Ryan "baring all" ain't so much, anyway. And besides, it's like an old high school friend of mine once said, "If you've seen one... you've seen 'em both."

And with that juvenile observation...

Thanks for your time.

More of David'Z Current CommentZ: Hey, guess what? The story of Charlize Theron versus Halle Berry has a happy ending of sorts, although it wasn't until November 23, 2005 that I got to enlighten the world, in my role as... well, whatever the hell my role is!

Here 'tis!

Good Thing...

In an earlier entry, I commented on Charlize Theron's alleged crack about Halle Berry's choices in movie roles since Ms. Berry's Oscar-winning performance in "Monster's Ball," like that of a so-called "Bond girl" in "Die Another Day," her role as "Storm" in the "X-Men" series, her title role of "Catwoman," etc.: Note to self. Do not become Halle Berry."

Well, some time thereafter, Ms. Theron claimed she'd never made such a remark: "That was a comment the writer made, and he said that I'd said it. That's not my style. I don't like that kind of cattiness. Women shouldn't go against women."

Hmm. Good thing, that. Anybody see the trailer for "Aeon Flux?"

By the way, not to nit-pick about such a minor feature on a face so attractive as that of Ms. Theron's, but... Has anybody else noticed that odd little "hole" -- for lack of a better term -- in her lips? (See photo below... as if I could stop you!)

I would have shown more examples,
but I was admittedly a tad... umm...
distracted by all the nude photos I
encountered of Ms. Theron when I did
an "image search" on the internet!

Anyway... It reminds me of the indentation toymakers place in the mouth of a plastic baby doll, so one can insert the nipple of a baby bottle.

Yup... just the kind of serious facial flaw which would prompt me to turn down Charlize Theron -- or any woman remotely resembling her -- if she were to hit on me at a singles bar.

And now... May I have a "Yeah, right!" from the congregation, brothers and sisters?

Thanks for your time.

More of David'Z Current CommentZ: Hey, guess what (he said again)? I have absolutely nothing to add here.

Lucky you.

Thanks (again & again & again!) for your time.

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