This blog is officially "retired," but my other blog,
"The Lair of the Silver Fox," is still open for business!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

One of the Oldest Urban Legends

This morning, around sunrise, I was seated at the counter of a diner located one town away from my current residence. Good coffee, huge portions -- and if you finish all the food they give you, they'll give you more, no charge -- and you get to overhear just about the kinds of conversations you'd expect to overhear coming from the average working man.

I was a bit surprised, however, when one of these "average working men" asserted that all the heads of state across the world.... kings, presidents, prime ministers, whatever... are frozen when they die so they can be brought back later if and when the technology exists for someone to do so. That was a new one, at least to me. And he said that not only as if it were a fact, but also as if everyone who'd heard him say it knew it was a fact.

And without turning to face him or his buddies, I set my coffee cup on the counter and waited for the other shoe to drop. And I wasn't disappointed.

"Well," began one of them, "you know Walt Disney is still frozen..."

That again. That particular urban legend has been around as long as Uncle Walt's been dead, and that happened over forty years ago! My God, people still believe that?

Why do people believe that?

And... umm... Do you believe that?

If so... why? Where's your proof?

Maybe you're sitting there smugly saying, "I don't need proof. Everybody knows it."

Oh, everybody does, huh?

On the subject of "everybody," try this one on: There was a rather well-known studio head during Hollywood's golden era. He had a lot of innovative ideas. He also had a few nay-sayers in the company who would tell him during creative meetings that these proposed innovations simply couldn't be done. When faced with this pessimism, the studio head would ask, "Who says it can't be done?" and the reply was generally to the effect of, "Well... everybody says it can't be done." And the studio head's retort to "everybody says" was, "Name two."

Funny thing. That studio head was Walt Disney.

Now, how many of you saw that coming?




Thanks for your time.


  1. Oh come on... everyone knows that all the important people are frozen upon their death. I keep Margaret Thatcher in my freezer. It means I can't keep as much bread frozen as I would like, but you can't have everything.

    What do you mean she isn't dead yet? ..... Bugger.....

  2. Better let her out, then...

    (Nice to see you, btw.)

  3. 1) I'd like some hash browns, please!
    2) Does this mean there are a lot of popesicles chillin' in the Vatican? POPESICLES! HA! HA! I kill myself. falls down, flails gracelessly.
    3) Sorry about #2. That just happens sometimes.
    4) POPESICLE! HAR! (Pay me.)

  4. Sparkle, you wacky, zany, kooky thing, you... your check's in the mail. Or your Czech. Whatever.

    ("Popesicle" reminds me of Father Guido Sarducci's "Pope-on-a-Rope" for the shower, btw.)

    And don't worry about flailing gracelessly. Remember: Love the Jack, love the George, and love the Gracelessly, too!

    Hey, I just had an uncomfortable thought: If a popsicle looks like... well... the way a popsicle looks... What would a momsicle look like?

  5. Does that make Teddy "ballgame" Williams a king/president/PM of something? Fenway Park at least. His throne is The Red Seat.

  6. Presidents, kings, prime minsters, and the like... They're a dime a dozen! But there was only one Ted Williams!

  7. Yeah, the way EVERYONE knows that if you go outside with wet hair, you've immediately signed up for pneumonia, and if you actually sit on a public toilet seat, you'll catch an STD. Oh, and cough syrup really works!

  8. I think the people who believe that shit are the same people who are still looking for Elvis, Morrison, TuPac, and Biggie...They also watch out for those damned members of Illuminati and for the exterterrestrials that only hit corn fields and trailor parks....Wait, ailens I believe in...still, you get my point. lol


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