This blog is officially "retired," but my other blog,
"The Lair of the Silver Fox," is still open for business!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Short Shorts

Six different topics today, boys'n'girls, so if you weren't a big Chuck Heston fan, you might wanna just skip down to #2!

1) Charlton Heston, 1924-2008, R.I.P.

Bad news, emailed to me early this morning, was that we lost actor Charlton Heston (often misspelled as "Charleton" for some stupid reason). I've placed my brief tribute in a "Short Shorts" column rather than in a separate entry because I don't have a whole lot to say about him, other than that I respected him as an actor and, as is the usual case with me, I appreciated him more in his lesser-known films than in blockbusters such as Ben-Hur and The Ten Commandments. I'm referring to movies like Touch of Evil (in which Heston was improbably cast as a Mexican, the heroic nemesis of the always imposing Orson Welles), The Buccaneer, The Last Hard Men, and Khartoum.

Of course, that doesn't mean to disparage any of the many other Heston vehicles I also enjoyed, including Planet of the Apes (and its first sequel), The Three Musketeers (and its sequel), The Greatest Show on Earth, and the cult favorite Soylent Green.

Strangely enough, the last film in which I saw him was his very first film, Peer Gynt, released relatively recently on DVD.

However, due to the short attention span of people nowadays, I just hope Heston will be remembered more as an actor than for his stint as the conservative president of the NRA. (Or is placing "conservative" and "NRA" in the same sentence rather redundant?)

2) The other morning, I went out for breakfast and had, among other things, a "Country Fried Steak." In case you don't know what that is, it's a steak -- kinda/sorta -- that's breaded -- again, kinda/sorta -- like southern fried chicken and cooked Lord-knows-how (I never ask -- and no, "fried" isn't specific enough in this case). And this time, I wondered how and why "country fried steak" ever came about.

Think about it. Meat prices being what they are (and have been for years), I know of a lot of people who "settle" for chicken far too often, when they'd rather have a nice steak!

So, why on earth would someone who can afford a steak want it to be prepared like cheap chicken?

I guess it originated down South -- I'm only assuming that because of the whole Southern-fried aspect, and not relying on any regional prejudices -- when some guy walked into a diner and said something to the effect of, "Hey, Bob, I just made a killin' sellin' off my crops this year! And I'm gonna treat myself to a nice, juicy steak dinner for a change!" And the counterman/cook leaned forward almost conspiratorially and said, "Sure thing, Billy, but you better let me do it up like the fried chicken you usually get, just so's it won't be too much of a shock to your system."

3) I'm certainly not the type to push my religious views on anyone, but once in a while, I experience something that convinces me that there is, indeed, a God.

For example, up until very recently, McDonald's was offering their Filet-O-Fish sandwiches at the incredibly low price of two for only three dollars!

Does anyone really need more proof than that?

4) Well, I ended my Blogger poll a bit early, and it looks like I'll be keeping the re-vamped version of my South Park-ish profile icon. For those who care, a) I changed it because... well, because I could, since the computer table background wasn't available when I designed the original, and b) I actually liked the first version better, and was considering changing it back, but gave "myself" a slight Grecian Formula treatment instead, and decided that I like the third version best. So much for that.

5) I love oxymorons. Probably at the top of everybody's list is the oft-mentioned "military intelligence." But I also like to list "disco heaven," "happily married," and... Billy Mays.

6) Why the hell do most radio stations insist on having so-called "morning shows?" I listen to my car radio so I can hear music, not a bunch of pointless talk. There are stations officially designated as "talk radio," y'know, so if you really want to hear a bunch of jibber-jabber on your way to work -- or on your way home from wherever you passed out last night -- feel free to listen to one of them. Let me have my music, okay?

If I want to put up with an endless supply of words before getting down to the actual entertainment, I'll... I'll...

I'll read my own blog, that's what I'll do!

Thanks for your time.

12 comments:

a cannibal said...

"I'd like an order of Country Fried Heston and a coke."

David'Z RantZ said...

Just make sure you pry Heston's rifle from his cold, dead hands before putting leftovers in the microwave.

"nifty" neal hater said...

Is it time yet? No? Not Yet?

David'Z RantZ said...

Time for what? Lemme guess: Time for "Nifty" Neal?

I'm curious. Why do you have it in for him, anyway? Is it the whole thing about the artwork?

Joe Doherty said...

I had a chicken fried steak when I visited my in-laws. Not only is it extremely tasty, but it knocked 3 years off my lifespan.

Joe Doherty said...

(not soon enough considering I was with my in-laws)

David'Z RantZ said...

([reading updated blog comments] Joe Doherty... Joe Doherty... First time commenting on my blog, if I'm not mistaken. Twice, yet. So why does that name sound so familiar?

[checks other bloggers' comments sections] Ah, yes, he's the guy who insulted the Rolling Stones and pissed off IANO to the point where IANO said Joe was dead to him. That's bad...

Oops, the perennially-petulant Cake said the same thing about Joe for the same reason. That's even worse...

So, what, this dude thinks he's going to hide here until the heat dies down? Should I let this slide?

[checks out Joe's blog] Hm. "Kicky and Jumpy: A tale of twins." Twin what, kangaroos? [continues reading] Nope. Real babies. A blog about little twin babies? Uh-oh! Going into "Cute Kid Alert" mode...

Wait! He does use the word "mucus," which is always good. Plus, he's Irish...

Still, I dunno. I don't think I can allow this in good conscience...

HEY! He linked to my blog! Obviously a man of excellent taste. [adds "Kicky and Jumpy: A tale of twins" to link list])

HI, JOE DOHERTY! AND WELCOME TO "DAVID'Z RANTZ!"

cake said...

So I'm perennially petulant, huh?

::starts to stomp...thinks twice::

What will it take to get my rep improved? I make excellent chocolate chip cookies!

And I have iiiiinfraaastructure! ::waves bottle of wine::

cake said...

p.s.
Joe Doherty seems like a good guy despite his obviously insane stance about the Stones. Shh, don't tell him I said that, though.

David'Z RantZ said...

Cake:

1. Hm. I leave a comment on your blog, and you respond to it on mine? First Sparkle Pigeon did that, now you. This is like one of those DC or Marvel crossover mini-series (only with better writers). You have to read everything, or you'll miss something.

2. Chocolate chip cookies, good. Bottle of wine, better. Much better. Red or white? (By the way, "bottle of wine" is a rather unique definition for "infrastructure.")

3. Heyyyyyy, waitaminute! The bottle of wine bit was working until I just remembered that I've seen you mention a significant other once or twice on your blog. Maybe our blogs shouldn't even be [blushes] linked.

4. Regardless of all that, you're the first woman I've known of in æons who was worried about her "reputation" -- or, as you so casually put it, your "rep" -- so I guess I'll give you a clean slate from now on, just because of that. Consider the "petulant" cracks retired... unless, of course, you resume stomping and wake my damned cat again. You've been warned [he said ominously].

5. My extensive and costly background check on Mr. Joe Doherty reveals that one of his musical favorites is Ogden Edsel. Just because of that, he must be a cool guy. (Betcha thought I welcomed him only because he linked to my blog. Even I'm not that shallow. This week, anyway.)

6. And, finally: I know that the more accepted spelling for "æons" is "eons," but I wanted to show off my brand new "æ" symbol! (Now that I've seen it in use, however, I've decided that it reminds me too much of a swastika, so perhaps I should only use it whenever I reply to one of IANO's Hitler-themed blogs.)

Joe Doherty said...

Thank you, David...it's great to be here.

Yes, cute alert mode for my blog. Considering it's read by relatives all over the USA for news & info about the boyz, I generally have to tailor my sh*t*** f***ing language and cynical ideas about the world.

Initially, the blog was created so I could rant about or exude the joy of being a parent of twins. Now, it's kinda like Sesame Street with a helping of vanilla ice cream.

So, there it is. I'm certainly not cool, as IANO will tell you. After all, I dislike the Stones...!

BUT yes, I dig The Ogden Edsl Wahalia Blues Ensemble Mondo Bizzario Band. So that should even things out.

Keair Snyder said...

"6) Why the hell do most radio stations insist on having so-called "morning shows?" I listen to my car radio so I can hear music, not a bunch of pointless talk. There are stations officially designated as "talk radio," y'know, so if you really want to hear a bunch of jibber-jabber on your way to work -- or on your way home from wherever you passed out last night -- feel free to listen to one of them. Let me have my music, okay?"-Fucking A! I hate...and I mean HATE morning shows on the damned radio. They are a total waste of time and not at all what anyone wants to hear when they turn on a music station on the radio in the morning.

Related Posts with Thumbnails