This blog is officially "retired," but my other blog,
"The Lair of the Silver Fox," is still open for business!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

X-Rated Topic, PG-Rated Post

Just ruminating:

Like I don't already have enough to do, sometimes I want to start another blog.

No, not another post, another blog. An uncensored one, where I can write about topics of a more "adult" nature. And without any of my cutesy little asterisks replacing some of the letters in a "naughty" word. (I mean, really, when I write a word like "bulls**t," I know that everybody knows what I mean. It's like when they bleep out profanities on TV, and we in the TV audience know what was said anyway.) True, sometimes I eschew the asterisks, usually when I'm really pi... umm... really ticked off about something...

And back in 2004, at my old blog address, I actually used the uncensored "F" word by saying "F**k you" to none other than Babe Ruth! That was on the historic day that the Red Sox effectively ended the Curse of the Bambino by winning the World Series.

I detest censorship. But generally, when I write, I use a bit of restraint. (Hm. Mental picture when I mentioned "restraint... " Never mind.)

However, having said that... Once in a great while, I want to make a so-called X-rated comment on one subject or another, whether the subject itself is X-rated or not.

Once in a great while, I want to be out-and-out crude.

Once in a great while, I want to be juvenile. Incredibly juvenile.

Once in a great while, I want to be kiddingly -- and I stress "kiddingly" -- misogynist. ("Misogynistic?" Ahh, who gives a... darn?)

I realize that, theoretically, I can write about any topic here. But what small audience I have might object to anything really explicit, even if it's just a lot of profanities and vulgarities. Even if one or two people object, I'd feel like I'd f... *ahem*... that is, that I'd betrayed them, in a small way. So I'd set up a new blog which would be designated as being strictly for adults only, and any of the regular David'Z RantZ readers could pretend the new blog didn't even exist.

Kinda like watching all of the different Star Trek TV series, and all of the movies, too, but ignoring the novels and comic books.

What this proposed blog would not be is one of those blogs wherein the author regales you with detailed anecdotes about his or her sex life, for two reasons:

1. I'm actually not that much of a kiss-and-tell guy, and

2. Who'd really want to read about my sex life? Even I wouldn't.

Anyway, I may or may not do this someday, but if I do, I already have the title: David'X RantX. (Just pronounce the "X" like the "X" in the word "xylophone," and there ya go!)

But beware, boys'n'girls! I'll still probably end each post with...

Thanks for your time.

20 comments:

neal-hater said...

I wish nifty-neal would go to h**l

David'Z RantZ said...

Hey, on this blog, you say "Heck," buddy!

Redbeard76 said...

H. E. Double hockey sticks.

dr. nazi said...

I assumed neal-hater meant "heil"

Sparkle Plenty said...

1) "But what small audience I have..." "Small audience"? Munchkins? You think we're munchkins? You think we're stunty runties? In essence, David'z RantZ Runtz? Well, you just step outside into this virtual alley with your runty little audience of readers and we'll learn you some big lessons at tiny school, mister!
2) "...might object to..."
What? You're sayin' we'd object to something? Why, we're agreeable as the day is long. HUH! As if we'd object to something! The very idea! Like we're hotheads or something! audience of hothead munchkins huffs off, shaking freakishly small fists

(Look forward to reading David'X RantX if you make it!)

David'Z RantZ said...

Sparkle:

Wow.... I think that if I do "David'X RantX," my first post will be about how f**ked-up (without the asterisksksks) some of my readerZ are. Loved "David'Z RantZ RuntZ," by the way. Could it be... rugs?

"Look forward to reading David'X RantX if you make it!" If I "make it?" Is that a veiled sexual reference?

Hey, how come the black & white glamor pic shows up on your blog, but your comments still have the color ducky photo?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!

Jayne said...

Why can't you swear and be rude on your own blog?

I think you should.

I'm going to try and write the post puerile and gross post ever now. Just to show you that it can be done.


Maybe.

cake said...

"I think that if I do "David'X RantX," my first post will be about how f**ked-up (without the asterisksksks) some of my readerZ are."

I can't wait to read it...that IANO really is f**ked-up so that blog will run pretty long.

::goes off humming innocently::

cake said...

p.s.
Sweater puppies!

Lois Lane said...

Another blog?

What the &*!@ do you @**&%ing think you can #@*&$ write in a another +)*!&#&&ing blog, you *&!$% :!@*?@$ !*&#?????

I mean, gosh, that would be swell! :-)

I Ain't No Oprah said...

Shit piss cocksucker fuck cunt motherfucker and tits to you!

Jayne said...

Whoa there IANO. How offensive was that !?

Come on, be careful. You can't go missing out the words 'bollocks' for goodness sake. They go hand in hand (as it were) with the other bad words.

Or bollocky bollocking bollocks.

I'm suprised at you.

Bollocks said...

I can't believe you left me out either. Everyne loves a bit of bollock in the equation.

I'm off to sulk.

Sparkle Plenty said...

The poor bullocks. INFIDEL!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that guy with that terrible blog that I can't believe CNN linked to just left bullocks out.

Sparkle Plenty said...

David'z!
1) If only I could blame "rugs" (call them on the carpet, so to speak).
2) My duck picture is up 'cause I'm all-fired lazy!
3) I like to change the picture a lot on my template to make up for the fact that I'm too scared now to change the template itself (PTTCSD--post-traumatic template change stress disorder). Glamour shot is back down for the moment; milky the neon milkman is up (nothing to do with references to jugs, I swear).

david mcmahon said...

G'day from Australia

So THAT is the real X-factor.

Mate, if only you'd explained that to me all those years ago!!

David'Z RantZ said...

Wow, I leave you guys without a sitter for a few hours and you all go bugfuck crazy on me!

Jayne: I know I "can" be crude, rude, and lewd in my blog, but I choose not to, generally. Y'see... I tell almost everybody I meet in all walks of life about my blog. Potential girlfriends, even. I tell them because I want these women to see that I have a sense of humor, because all the magazines say that women value a sense of humor above all else. Which is bullshit, or all those supermodels would be on the arms of comedians, not rock stars. What do women really want? A guy with a Porsche, who is hung like the donkey in a Tijuana sex show, methinks.

But I digress.

Anyway, my comments section is fair game for all our private jokes and other lunacies, and as much potty-mouthed ranting as y'all wanna supply, but I'd hate to scare off a potential lover, bedmate, fuck buddy, or sweater-puppy-bearing basement babe by having her first glimpse of my peculiar brand of entertainment be the post where I'm describing in detail what the average eight-year-old boy's reaction would be to being anally gang-raped by a group of gibbons wearing Nazi armbands.

Well, you asked, milady fair. (And everybody check out Jayne's May 2nd post. It is incredibly perverse, twisted, and disgusting, as would any post be that uses terms like "willy juice." I quite enjoyed it.)

Cake: Yeah, I meant IANO. Sure. Yup. Not anyone else. Especially not, like, Canadians, eh?

David McMahon: Welcome to David'Z RantZ. (I've seen you commenting on other blogs, you sneaky guy, you!) Maybe you can explain to all these jamokes around here that Austria and Australia aren't the same country. (Good luck.) And I would've told you about the X-Factor thing, but you never asked. Shame on you.

IANO: To sum up: I love the classics, too.

Lois: I am very disappointed in you. There are only two "&"s in "+)*!&#&ing," you know! And you're an editor, no less!

Sparkle: Milky the Neon Milkman? Okay, nice jugs, but... Next time you put up the glamor shot, I think I'll give it the old right-click, "save picture as" treatment, so I can gaze upon your loveliness anon. (and on, and on, and on... yuk, yuk!)

In short, I say shame on all of you, including a handful of commenters whom I didn't mention! You all need a good spanking, one which I'll be glad to administer personally!

Well... Just to the women.

Thanks for your time. [blows sloppy wet kiss to Sparkle]

cake said...

"...because all the magazines say that women value a sense of humor above all else..."

No, they're right...sense of humour is a highly valued commodity. Ya can make do without but the guy had better have other redeeming characteristics.

No comment on the donkey comparison...short step from there to mules and then we're back at yesterday's IANO.

I wonder if I should attempt a crude Cake blog? I'm not so sure how good I'd be at that...

Although I guess there's only one way to be sure.

::goes off to plot::

David'Z RantZ said...

"I wonder if I should attempt a crude Cake blog? I'm not so sure how good I'd be at that..."

I have faith in you. I'm sure the attempt would come off quite well.

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