This blog is officially "retired," but my other blog,
"The Lair of the Silver Fox," is still open for business!

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Winter Parking Ban (with thanks to... well... NO ONE, now)

[This post was inspired by someone else's blog. I originally gave her full credit for that fact, and provided a link to her original post. Since then, however, she has removed herself from my list of "followers," and removed the links to both of my blogs from her website... and all without telling me why, nor giving me a chance to defend myself. She didn't even answer the one email I sent, asking why. Therefore, although I bear her absolutely no ill will, I no longer think I owe her the courtesy of a mention here.]

Several years ago, I was living with my second -- and, to date, final -- ex-fiancée, in Southbridge, Massachusetts, a town I have not-so-lovingly referred to in the past as the "Crappy Day Job Town." There were no officially-designated parking spaces for anyone who lived in that immediate area. Very few of the apartment buildings on her street had their own driveways. You just found a spot on either side of the street.

After some point (November 1st, I believe), I began getting seemingly-random tickets saying I was violating the winter parking ban.

Being the good citizen that I thought I was, I called the town hall, and asked how to avoid this.

I was told that the rules went by the date. On the "odd-numbered" days (in other words, on the 1st, the 3rd, the 5th, etc.), park on the "odd-numbered" side of the street (in other words, on the side where the house numbers were 197, 199, 201, etc.). On the "even-numbered" days, park on the "even-numbered" side of the street.

I still received tickets saying I was violating the winter parking ban!

Being the good citizen that I thought I was, I called the town hall, and asked how to avoid this.

It was explained to me that because the date changed at midnight, my car had to be on one side of the street before midnight, but on the other side of the street immediately after midnight. So if I'd parked on the odd-numbered side of the street before, say, the 16th had changed to the 17th, I could still get a pre-midnight parking ticket!

But of course.

For the next few nights, I was very careful of where I parked before and after midnight. Most nights, I ended up moving my car at somewhere right around 11:58 P.M.

I still received tickets saying I was violating the winter parking ban!

Okay, just one ticket.

One ticket was all it took for me, being the royally pissed-off citizen that I had every right to be, to call the town hall, demanding to know what the hell was going on.

The guy I talked to actually said the following, or words very close to it (and even though I couldn't see him on the telephone, I assume he said it with a straight face):

"Well, we don't really expect people to bundle up and go out and move their cars at midnight, so we call 10 P.M. 'midnight,' and that's when we actually consider the date to change. So we ticket accordingly."

But of course. How silly of me not to have presumed that the Crappy Day Job Town would do some f**king thing exactly like that!!!

And people wonder why I never got used to that stupid town???

(Inhale.

Exhale.)


Thanks for your time.

6 comments:

cousin saul said...

Ah yes...brilliant government employees....and half of our country wants idiot government people to take care of health care. Even though we have over 150 years of proven history that these imbeciles have NEVER (not even once) delivered a service in an efficient or cost effective manner. We are doomed!
Funny blog though!

I Ain't No Oprah said...

My town won't pick up my recycled stuff anymore because I don't put out my trash also (I bring it to my store's dumpster)

I told the city hall I recycled EVERYTHING and I have no trash.

They thought I was lying.

I was.

ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!!

Sarah said...

That is SO ridiculous I would have been royaly ticked off as well!

Luckily it states on my ticket from 1am to 7am is when it is in effect, but I've noticed a ton of cars on my block with tickets, so they are making a fortune off of us.

Tis the season of giving right?

You have mentioned another Sarah? Was it awhile ago or am I not remembering?

Glad I'm the "Good Sarah" though!!

I was going to sue you...I had the papers drawn and everything but it's Christmas so I'll let it slide this once!

David'Z RantZ said...

The "other" Sarah is Gov. Palin. I've mentioned her so often on my blog, I was kiddingly suggesting that I wouldn't want anybody confusing you with her!

Sarah said...

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Keair Snyder said...

I have heard some stupid shit in my time but that took the cake!

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